Christmas Tree Mafia

Hey all,

Overheard a comment by the Boss on the phone one day about someone he sold trees to, who made the mistake of trying to sell them without paying anyone one off and ran afoul of “The Christmas Tree Mafia”– blokes in balaclavas showed up to his house in the middle of the night, threatened him and his family with torture, death, rape, fire etc.  Innocent Christmas enthusiast now out of the Christmas Tree game for good.  I queried the existence of this mob, which sounds like something from a Guy Ritchie farce.  Apparently Glasgow and Edinburgh all sown up by the ruthless Christmas Tree Mafia gang.  The Boss's brother has had a shotgun held in the face.  The Boss himself has to deal with them, says that they, cheerfully enough, just don't pay if you deliver the trees before getting the cash up front, and will continue to refuse to do so, with perfect good humour until you show up in person and demand your 15K, which the Boss did, and end up in hospital for three days, which the Boss did, after receiving what the head gangster described as a “bit of a slap,” chuckling all the while.

When I told Canada about this he didn't believe me, seemed annoyed that I persisted with the story:
“F*** off.  You're taking the piss [an expression he learnt here and has become very fond of].”
“No I'm not.  Ask the Boss.”
“F*** off. No way.”
“No really.  There is a Christmas Tree Mafia.”
“In a comedy on TV, maybe.”
“Seriously.  Balaclavas.  Shotguns.  Beatings.  Some head gangster, apparently hugely fat, weighs more that a car, called 'Fat Tony,' or something like that.”
“Get the f*** out of here!”

Eventually, the existence of the Christmas Tree Mafia is confirmed by the Boss, Forklift Driver, to Canada's abiding amusement – he would smile and shake his head at random moments for days afterwards.  Apparently I dealt with one of them myself, without realising it – I gave him the counter to count the trees as we loaded them on to a truck.  Probably a mistake.  Also: the counter disappeared.

Photos.  1.  Canada with 12 foot tree.  These really needed two blokes to carry safely, but often the technique was one bloke, who would crouch down, let it tip onto shoulder, then struggle to feet like Bulgarian weight lifter.  2.  The netting machine that put the trees in nets after they had been dragged to a track.  3. Another 3:30 PM shot.  4.  Canada, so full of energy that whenever we were in a break while waiting for the forklift he would, literally, start climbing the walls.  Younger Romanian Familiar in foreground, trying not to lurk too obviously.  The grey sludge all over the floor is not dirt – it is ice.

Cheers, B.